YAY!!! I’m out of isolation!!!! Fuck – its still stage four lockdown….. Crust… day 11 of 28 to be exact… What have I been doing I hear no one in particular ask???? Well let me tell you about ALL of my adventures – due to the current social situation we are facing I can assure you – they are short adventures…
So day one of FREEDOM – what did I do???? A big fat NOTHING – you know cause I was tired from doing nothing for fourteen days. HAHA kidding!!! No actually I ended up working from home for fourteen days – well ten cause you know weekends and shit. I always maintained that working from home was not for me cause I have no discipline. Turns out I have HEAPS of discipline – who knew…..
Day two of freedom. I embarked on a friends and family wellbeing check. So we have bubbles here in little ole New Zealand – I have my cat in mine as well as my friend (cause we live in the same house). So we are allowed out for some fresh air and exercise within our local area – not allowed to come within two meters of another human and or doggo (not even allowed to pat doggo’s – rude) – also known as social distancing. Also you are not allowed to drive anywhere – funny how many people are still driving. So let me explain social distancing thing – we are avoiding possible community infection by being introverts (YAY – we do have a place in the world!). I always knew that my awesome party trick of not turning up to the party would come in handy one day.
Anyways back to the wellbeing check. I walked for fucken aaaaaggggggeeeeeessssss. Seriously over 7 km. First up lets understand that clearly I am SHIT (no, not “the shit” – actually shit) at planning routes. WOW – talk about an ass over elbows approach to planning a seemingly easy to plan walk. LOL – check out the map – not even lying. First stop – the quietest guy I know. It was at that corner that I spotted a doggo that alas I couldn’t pat. The dude was like “he’s been begging me to take him out all week”. I have a feeling he was lying by the look on the dogs face…. Stop two – my friend and his mum awesome to say hi hello especially since I hadn’t seen them since the second week in March. Backtrack back up the road I just came from to make my last stop at my trainers house. Great to see him and catch up on stuff that I have missed. Only for him to tell me that he is about to post a 50 burpee challenge – WTAF – no one fucken likes burpees why the fuck would we want to do 50??? On saying that – if you know me then you know that I would have said – CHALLENGE FUCKEN ACCEPTED. I won’t post the video cause you don’t need that picture burned into your memory for the rest of your life – seriously you don’t.
So this whole social distancing thing. If you see someone walking towards you you need to make sure that – you guessed it – there is at least two metres between you. This makes for a much more exciting walk – especially when you are the only one giving way – yes after all of the shit that is going on in the world there are still self centred assholes – and here I thought they where all staying home with all of their toilet paper they hoarded – clearly I was wrong. No no, here, let me step in front of the oncoming vehicle so that you don’t have to look up and make eye contact with another human. It is a fun thing to watch how we try and navigate around each other without accidentally touching someone – FUCK – I left my fucken sanity no wait my sanitiser at home. Like I said – its an introverts world out there now.
Here in this wee country of mine people have started some form of teddy watch thing – no I wasn’t paying attention when people where talking about it – basically people have put teddy’s in windows so when you go for your walks or stalks you can see a teddy and smile – count them – cant touch them (that whole social distancing thing). I saw lots of very cool teddy’s but only one caught my eye – cause he was a panda. Also cause no one wanted to know – I saw on my walk an apple tree – full of apples – who knew you could grow fruit in suburbia.
TADAAAA… end of adventures – mainly because I am back at actual work since I have been released from isolation (in case you are wondering yes I am part of an essential service – not just an essential pain). Gotsto be there for my peoples. Soooo good to see other people – so shit not to be able to get any hugs – that social distancing thing again. So there you have it, my adventures – through social distancing (the introvert in me actually loves staying at home), virus’s, sanitisers and having to go to back to the office for work it has been a great few days. Enjoy the pics and I urge you to have a look at the shitest (HA – autocorrect changed that to whitest – cause that’s what I really wanted to say – LOL) route ever planned and the red panda cause he is super cool.